Internet Funnies

How to Prank the Telemarketer

iRack

What is it?

Something has sprung up in the old compost pile area again.

It's not a pumpkin.
It's not a honeydew.














Enlighten me.

Time Suckage Revisited

Remember the How many states can you name quiz? I innocently ran across the How many countries can you name? version today. I'm not even going to try until I've had a glass of wine.

We have worms!

And they're living in our new* compost pile! Dozens of them! And I didn't put them there! They put themselves there!



Holy shit...I'm vermicomposting!

What you have to remember here is that I live in the desert. Roadrunners, coyotes, and ants we have. Worms? Not so much.

I must admit that I have never been excited by worms before, so this is new for me. Growing up we had worms out the wazoo. In fact, when I think of worms it brings me back to my childhood, whining at my parents to clean up the dudes who came in under the front door and beached themselves on the entryway carpet during every decent rain storm. (And of course I also think of a baby Cracker. The avatar that really needs changing is the first worm the Cracker ever saw back at a pumpkin patch in October of 2004.) (Yeah, that picture is kind of old.)



This composting thing is a hoot.


*You can read about what happened in our first compost pile here.

The Bestest Unsolicited Junk Mail Ever

A big thank you to my new friends at Tide/Pampers/Kandoo marketing. The illustrated frog wiping his ass is genius and a delightful treat to unexpectedly find in one's mailbox.



Reward chart and stickers? Oh how you spoil us!



There is just one minor problem: the packet came addressed to yours truly, but my dear husband is insisting on taking it to work where he plans to proudly display it in his cubicle. (Something about checking off everything but "I wiped.")

Time Suckage

Am I smarter than a 5th grader? Probably not.

I came across this How many US states can you name in 10 minutes? quiz tonight. Turns out I can only name 49 states. But hey, I can do it in just under 3 minutes and they give 10. Does that count for anything?

I am humbled. I honestly expected a perfect score the first time, and then again the second time, and yes, even the third time. Ninety-friggin-five percent all three times.

(But can I have bonus points for knowing that 95 is Lightening McQueen's number?)


So here are my complaints with the test:
1. No map provided. I could totally do it with a map.
2. Incorrect spelling should count. I was finishing up with New England and could already see I was going to hit 49 again and in frustration suddenly was unable to spell M-a-s-s-a-c-h-u-s-e-t-t-s.
3. Instead of alphabetical order I would like them listed in the order that I entered them.* I do not even kind of possess the patience to go through again in my head geographically and then compare against an alphabetical list. Hello? Lazy American here.
4. I would like a grade me now/cheat button. When I'm done naming 49 states and have spent a whole additional minute half-assedly trying to figure out which one I missed this time I'M DONE. Making me wait until the clock runs out is really shitty.

(My misses in order: Iowa, Missouri, Minnesota)
*As it turns out, that was the original version. For tonight I'm done aggravating myself, but I might have to try tomorrow.

Also from the same site, a YouTube link to this.



My Dad used to reenact it for me as a child.

The Sharts

Do you treat them as a poo accident or cut the kid some slack?