Sunday, December 25, 2016

Olive's Christmas Poem to Her Mother

Trump is a grump, a big rump.
He lives in the city dump.
He has to triple jump to get over a sugar lump.
I think he needs a stomach pump.
He is as slump as a tree stump.

So go to your house,
Be as quiet as a mouse,
Until someone kicks him out,
Then shout: "Never again will I pout!"

The End!

Saturday, December 17, 2016

She's One of Us Now

Us to the baby in normal every day conversation: "You have a spoon..."
Baby: "UH!"

Friday, December 16, 2016

Violet on How to Sleep Like a Baby

There were also two adults in this bed. Ow.

Thursday, December 08, 2016

Calls from the Office, Part 1

Call #1, November 2nd: Biting a friend, no skin broken.

Call #2, December 2nd: Indecent exposure. Mariah was on a "rampage" ripping up everyone's art and Callum decided he'd like some of that attention. "In an effort to steal her thunder, he shouted'Hey turn off the lights for a show!'" and whipped out his penis. Later, in tears, when I asked why, "I wanted everyone to laugh at me."

Call #3, December 7th: Boys on boys under the bathroom stall door peeping. The after school lady is explaining in great detail that there was a gaggle of kinder boys and a ringleader and she won't stop nervously talking in circles. "So, what you're trying to tell me is that my kid was the ringleader?" "NO! HE'S A VICTIM!!!" and "But these kind of things happen all the time!" (And please don't try to get me fired or call my boss or threaten to sue or freak out.) "OH! Don't worry, we're cool. He exposed himself to his entire kindergarten class last week so this is nothing! I am so relieved!" After school program lady did not seem to share my great sense of relief. Oops.

It feels safe to assume there will be a part 2.

Tuesday, December 06, 2016

I can narrow it down to two possible suspects


Monday, December 05, 2016

Callum and the School Library

Five months into kindergarten and Callum still only checks out books we already own.

It's hilarious, or so I'm told, when surrounded by friends.

Weirder, we go to the city libraries more than Target and he's never once tried to do it there.

We have an entertainer on our hands.