Friday, September 12, 2008

Harder Than You'd Think

I am looking for a Heidi costume that does not include the words ho, wench, sexy, or Playboy-licensed in it's description.

Ollie's First Greens

Peas? No. Green beans? No.

Fistfulls of grass. At soccer.


Thursday, September 11, 2008

Is it too late to add a few more wallets to my order?

Quick! It's picture day! You're a 5 year old boy. What do you do?

You trip over your own feet, land on your face, on the way to school, at the bus stop, that exact morning. Your nose swells up and you bleed and bleed and bleed.

Oh yeah, it's picture day alright.

(This was taken this evening, swelling gone, second clean shirt of the day. Wanna do my laundry?)

Ollie on Rolling

Rolling from back to tummy is fun, until you realize that once there it's self-imposed tummy time. Scream. Like. Hell.

(Don't try to roll back or anything.)

I Give Him Credit for Trying

I am not buying that when the Cracker's teacher said to dress up for picture day she meant wear your Halloween costume.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

It's a good thing we found each other because no one else gets us

Me: Flossing.
Him: Drawing himself a man bath.

Me: "Are you using lavender baby wash?!"
Him: "It's all we have. AND much better smelling than stewing in my own sweaty ass juice!"

Someone really needs to add bubble bath to the shopping list.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Proud Mama

Cracker: "I'll be the Dad, you be the Mom, and you be the kid."
Boy @ park: "But I'm a boy. I don't want to be the Mom."
Cracker: "That's okay, we can be a family of two Daddies!"

Jason on Ollie's Squealing

"Somewhere bats are saying 'Whaaaat?'"

Friday, September 05, 2008

To Know Her is to Love Her


"Hi honey, it's Mom. Your father and I just wanted to let you know that we'll be sending off more of your inheritance to Obama later today..."

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Recycle, Reuse, Renew!

Sometimes I think I'm rather clever. Sometimes I crack myself up. This is totally one of those times.

Amidst a sea of McCain minivans in the pickup line at our (public) school (that has uniforms...gah) (that refuses to teach evolution, even though it means they lose government funding...double gah) I brand this my own crazy politico version of Intelligent Design.