Sunday, January 22, 2006


The Cracker, November 2005

I've been trying to post this picture under the main title, but gosh darnit it's been harder than it sounds. For now it's just going to have to live here.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Accessories for the Modern Man

In Cracker news, today was day 8 of his bike helmet phase. Oh yes, it IS what you're imagining. We were getting dressed for a dinner party last Friday night when Cracker spotted his dusty old bike helmet high atop a forgotten shelf in our closet. "Ooh! Hat! MINE!" This is the same helmet that he screamed bloody murder at the sight of only a year ago and absolutely refused to allow in the same room as his head.

But 8 days ago...well...he feel in love, and I can hardly blame him. It is bright yellow, covered with cows and dogs and cats, and that's the reason I bought it. He wears it every waking minute, every where we go. (I draw the line at wearing it to bed for obvious safety reasons.) And it can't just be resting on his have to secure it *tightly* with the chin strap fully fastened. Just thinking about it makes me want to cough up a furball.

Mouse Sporting Helmet

Like everything else toddler, it happened hard and fast, replacing wearing safety goggles on top of his head backwards. Try to picture that.

I figure we've got another week of this before it becomes last season too. Then maybe the curious shoppers at our Costco will stop asking me what type of head injury he has.

Oh, and the funniest part is the reaction of his peers. You should see their little faces when we meet them for a play date in our helmet: fear, curiousity, wonder, acceptance and finally admiration, all in a matter of seconds.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Corie, the Chosen One

Poor sweet Corie receives countless solicitations by snail mail. Today it was an American Express card. Last week it was the University of Phoenix, a Discover card (preapproved for platinum) and AARP.

Corie is a C-A-T.

A few years ago I had a revelation: list our phone number under one of our cat's names. Brilliant really. No paying for an unlisted number, know instantly if it's a solicitor, people who know you can still look you up, and give your friends a giggle every time her name shows up on their caller ID. Corie was the most obvious choice, as our other two cats are named Tigger and (Tinker)Belle. And just in case you're wondering, I am not a Disney freak. It just accidentally happened this way.

Junk mail is one of my biggest pet peeves. United Airlines sends credit card apps to J on an average of once a week, no kidding. When are they going to take the hint!

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Another Windy Day

Cracker and I decided it was high time to check out the library in our new town. Our favorite library is now quite the haul since we moved. How far? So far I'd have to pack snacks.

Luck was on our side, and parked next door was a fire truck, complete with firemen. I had no sooner lured him away with the promise of finding Bob the Builder books when we spotted a tractor working at the park bordering the library. Ironically, the friendly tractor operator was named Bob. Cracker has yet to understand that some names, unlike his own, are common. Bob on a tractor, huh? He sure didn't LOOK like Bob the Builder.

Once inside we learned that they carry NO BOB THE BUILDER BOOKS. A little disappointing, but still a great library. However, we found what I think are some even better alternatives: Martson's Big Rigs and a series called Machines @ Work that had a volume for every vehicle imaginable. Of the latter, Cracker recommends Buses, followed by Cherry Pickers and Rescue Helicopters. But if you're only going to get one, make it Buses.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

A Perfect Afternoon

Those of you with little people know that there are good days and not-so-good days. I am happy to report that today was an splendiferous day! I'm still beaming from ear to ear.

Cracker and I ventured out into the evil wind to Home Depot to pick up a specialty lightbulb. Now, HD is the closest retail store to our house, and for some reason I'll never understand, I always point it out to him as we drive by. Boy does my boy love the orange box giant! And so with great pride I must share that the newest addition to his vocabulary is Home Depot. Unlike his other recent and very clear new words, this one needs context since it's a little off. At first I thought he was saying elbow, but no, "Ho Bobo" is indeed HD. He can say home and he can say house clearly, but putting that together with depot is hard, ya know? Currently, the only other business he verbally acknowledges is Starbucks, which is "Momma tea! Momma tea! TEA!" (Venti black iced tea, no shaking, no sweetener. I'm an old school tea drinker.)

In Cracker's mind, Ho Bobo far outranks traditional toddler favorites like the zoo. I mean they've got forklifts, men with tool belts, garden hoses and nozzles (waber!) not to mention an amazingly large selection of faucets and potties on display. Awesome! While we were checking out the hoses Ho Bobo started playing General Public's I'll Take You There. (You may remember it from the movie Threesome, LOL.) IMHO, a very odd choice for their play list. Cracker immediately dropped the light bulbs (they're doing fine, thank you) and started busting a move. This doesn't happen often...the song has to really speak to him, and apparently fake Jamaican rap does. He was shaking his tushie, doing his funny baby strut dance with violent head bobbing...the whole enchilada. I couldn't help but join in, and of course I know most of the words. Probably shouldn't admit that, should I? We were just so in the moment that I didn't notice until the song was over that there were two bewildered male Ho Bobo employees watching us. At least they'll have something to talk about on break now.

When we got home we were tired and cold, so Cracker and I curled up together in my bed and feed each other Parmesan Goldfish crackers. I was laying down, the comforter pulled up to my chin, and Cracker was sitting on top of J's pillow covered to his waist. I had this perfect view of his angelic toddler face from below, and it was such a beautiful moment. He fed me, I fed him, and we giggled when we both reached into the bag at the same time. J came home and was like "You're letting him eat crackers in our bed, and on my side?" Not mad, just wondering what ever possessed his crazy wife to do this. (Even if you excuse the crumbs we have all white bedding, so everything shows.) I made him lay down with us and immediately even his nonoverlyemotional self saw the magic too.

Absolutely splendiferous.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006


I am a Stay at Home Mom, to a toddler. I have lost the ability to produce coherent, well constructed and to-the-point thoughts in the adult world. It doesn't happen to all SAHMs, but it happened to me. I will not hide the fact by cleverly attempting to stylize my writing and ignoring punctuation purposely in order to fool you. Basically, don't expect poetic perfection, because they'll be none of that here.

This is my first blog, and for the most part it will be a mommy blog. I've never actually had a real career other than mommy to the amazing Cracker, nor do I long for one. I am completely fulfilled.

My politics are liberal. I don't like W, never have, never will, but we can still be friends even if you do. I am not going to try to convert you, but you may notice my liberalness occasionally slipping in. Be who you are and I'll be who I am.

Lastly, for the sake of aniniminity against any www weirdoes, I will refer to my son as The Cracker. No, it isn't his real name, but I didn't pull it out of my arse either. Those of you how know us in RL get the connection. J is my husband. We've been married 8 years.

Nuff said.