Thursday, December 08, 2011

I'm 34 now. Send crutches. And condoms.

You missed it? No worries, it just happened like an hour ago.

So on the eve of my 34th I sat down, knee fine, stood up, knee not fine = fell down, in a most ungracious manner. Now I can't walk. What a great reminder that I'm getting older. Did I mention that the sitting down/standing up/falling down thing happened on the toilet? With a sober stomach? Cause yeah, that makes me feel so much not better.

My dear husband assures me it's a late onset injury from last night's sexcapades, because we found a new style of condoms at Target last night, weeeeeeeeee, and because our over-sized garden tub has not grown with us. And all that last chance sex with one of us not being a mid-30-something.


Us: "Ooh! Look at those! Jinx! Get those! Jinx!"
Third grader, again: "What are condoms?"
Me: "So there's like...30 in a box. One or two?"
Him: "Duh. Two."
Me: "It is a great value, but really?"
Him: "30...that's like two weeks worth, and they expire in...2014."
Me: "But we come to Target every day..."

More wine, please. And condoms. Because we're down to 56. And it's not even bedtime yet.


emzeegee & the hungry three said...

Happy Birthday. OH how I have missed your blogs. Come out and play more often. :) (but perhaps do not play in a garden tub.)


Heidi said...

Thanks love!

Katelyn said...

Bwahaha! You kill me :) 34? You made me feel old lol. Happy birthday!