Teenager

Early morning call from 8th grade:

"Mom, you need to come get me. I have an ear infection. I need medicine."
This is unexpected news since we were actually at the doctor's office last night at 5:30 pm for a physical, and knowing he'd had a little hint of a cold (which hit me and the baby hard, listen to me croak) the doc had made a big ordeal out of telling me his ears and lungs were a-okay.
"What are you feeling?" (And what drugs do you think I have to give, son?)
"Oh, you know, it's an ear infection, and it's in that ear where I ALWAYS have ear infections."
(No, I don't know that ear. You had one ear infection in the 13.5 years I have been your mother, which was back in kindergarten, so...) "I need you to describe it to me. What exactly does it feel like?" (Not gonna say pain, or pressure. You gotta come up with those on your own, kid.)
"Oh. it's definitely an ear infection. That's what it feels like."
"Did the nurse look in your ears?"
"No, but she did take my temperature and I don't have a fever. Weird, right?"
(NO. What class are you missing?)

Nurse gets on phone:

"He does not have a fever, but he tells me he is wearing glasses from third grade and I think that might be the problem. With your permission I'm going to send him back to class."
"Yes, please."

He did get glasses until 4th grade, but you know, whatever.

Also, dad found your glasses in less than 60 seconds, in the exact place I told you they'd be. You know, where you looked for 55 minutes before giving up.