Skeletons in Love

"This is the skeleton I made in Spanish. It is in love with Shayleigh's skeleton."

Callum on Black People

Dear Random Really Dark-skinned Strangers in the Park,

It's not what you think.

Loudly, "I DON'T HAVE ANY BLACK FRIENDS!" Then whispering, "Except Shayleigh. I'm going to marry her."

"Wow, chocolate eggs!"

Young Love and Spiderwebs

"Shayleigh and me are playing spiderweb! She is the spider, and I am her fly."

Violet has the feels

"Momma?"
"Yes?"
"I love...choose!"
Momma? No. Shoes.

Callum on Living With Assholes Who Touch His Stuff

Have a happy day.

Where the Remotes Were

Violet finally revealed where all the remotes have been hiding for a month now: in the tank of her toilet. And to think I was feeling bitter because it's Sunday, everyone's home, and I still don't get to go to the bathroom by myself.