Not Happy

On Sunday I caught one of the kids with a Sharpie drawing happy faces on his siblings. I was all Wft? Gimme the goddamn pen right now! and he was all I am so clever and uproariously funny! It wasn't until later that we realized he had first gone around the house and drawn nickel and dime sized happy faces ALL OVER EVERYTHING. IN SHARPIE.

Kitchen counters, kitchen cabinets, kitchen faucet, stainless steel appliances, white appliances, kitchen floor, his wooden furniture, our wooden furniture, plantation shutters, windows, picture frames, door frames, painted walls, mirrors, bathroom counters, bathroom sinks, bathroom floors, tub, toilet, his brothers beloved stuffed animal's face, his brother's favorite toys, his brother's favorite possessions, I am going to stop now because like HUNDREDS OF THINGS and I think you get the point.

Also, it was not the four year old.

Jason and my dad were more resigned and less suprised than I was. The culprit was like Why aren't you laughing...wait...oh shit.

Oh shit is right.

Later that night an email came through from neighborhood security about suspected 8th and 9th grade boys caught on camera and in the process of being identified for "Petty vandalism" with the explanation that affected homeowners know boys that age are stupid and have no intention of pressing charges, but also need to make sure things don't escalate.

Not my kid, but a good you're not alone reminder that good boys this age are so damn...not using their brains much. This is how penises, butts, and boobies get drawn on other people's property. So as pissed as I am, it could have been much worse. Lesson, please sweet baby Jesus, learned.

Then this was in my Facebook feed Monday. Thank you for that.

I assume we will continue to accidently stumble upon them for some time to come. Today's find: