Thursday, April 14, 2016

Callum on Underwear

Our dearest Callum is sensory seeking due to low registration. While he absolutely feels things, it's often dulled, muted, not punchy enough.

To say that potty training didn't go well the first, second, third, or subsequent tries is a huge understatement. Then suddenly he was three and a half, and it got to the point that we really didn't know if he was truly that clueless or fucking with us. Multiple times he literally stood there peeing on himself all like, "What? I don't know what you're talking about" as pee streamed down his leg, forming a puddle at his feet right after getting up from the potty because he didn't have to pee.

Literally. And so many times.

Then not too long after his fourth birthday he began to feel the Bern pee. Usually we'd be standing in line at the grocery store or Target when he began to guffaw and declare for all to hear, "MOM! I AM PEEING! RIGHT NOW! I AM PEEING!"

Chistoso as it was, people don't assume your 4 year old is wearing a Pull Up, so...awkward.

Soon after things looked good and we were finally on our way!

Then this happened. Three steps forward, a bazillion back. You cannot use the potty in a spica cast when your mom is literally 9 months pregnant.

Cast came off, baby sister took his baby spot in the family, and we waited for him to resume wanting to wear awesome underpants.


At four and more than a half we started all over because holy shit kindergarten is coming. And it was instant success!

Except now, even months later, I am left trying to convince an almost five year old (and not a two or three year old) every damn day that you have to change your underpants even if! you think they are not dirty. We've all made a big deal of our underpants changes. We try to reason, why have so many pairs if you really only need one or two?

(And unfortunately we can't bathe him every day and do it then because his eczema will raaaaaaaage.)

Callum ain't buying, and since it's usually me making the argument as we get dressed for the day he's decided changing clean yet day old underpants is some Mars vs. Venus bullshit invented by his bat shit crazy woman-mother.

But there will be no literal shit in his underpants come August. So, you win some, you lose some.

No comments: