Things I've Literally Said at Target

"I am only buying you Bandaids if you promise not to use them all on your nipples again."

#nopasties

On Venting About Teen Behavior

Lesson learned: Do not vent about typical teenage behavior to parents of younger children. The time spent trying to explain that your kid is not crazy or have emotional problems, just a whole different beast of a brain, is nearly as frustrating as the teenage behavior itself. You'll explain there are some awesome articles out there that explain it all, like Scientific American's The Amazing Teen Brain, but instead they'll just continue to judge.

Sigh.

Violet on Black Lights

I didn't think anything of it until I felt pain inflicted by tiny finger nails from the rider on my hip as she drew blood from my arm fat. She was just starting to relax again when she realized her romper was glowing and I almost didn't catch her she attempted to jump out of it. But as in every That's So Violet episode, she never once made a peep or shed a tear.

And five minutes later black lights were super funny.

Violet's First Sing Along

Mom: She blinded me with science! Do! Do!
Violet: Do! Do!

Callum on Donald Trump

With all-knowing confidence, "Donald Trump...is a duck!"

Callum on the Phone

Growing up in the era of Skype:

Giggling, "I can hear you, but I can't see you!"

Callum Schools Olive

Callum: (I don't remember.)
Snarky Olive: Yeah, and monkeys fly...
Callum: No, they swing!