Well, we did it. We took the Craker to see his first big screen flick.
The short version was it was a success.
And if you care to keep reading, the L-O-N-G version: since J and I don't date anymore, I had forgotten how darn expensive it can be to go to the movies at night. Tickets for 3 (no kiddie discounts? WTF! He's 2! Doesn't the world owe me something for nothing?) and J didn't want to share popcorn with him. It cost like a gazillion dollars. And while we skimp on the drinks and J and I share a miniscule drink along with really salty snacks, you just can't skimp on the popcorn. I mean it was his first time. And he's never had popcorn before, because of the whole you can choke and die thing.
Being taking-our-2-year-old-to-the-movies virgins, we didn't anticipate the fact that Cracker, at a mere 29lbs, would not be heavy enough to keep the seat from trying to fold up on him. We get into the theatre early and immediately we can see that this is going to be an issue for the entire flick. Right before George comes on, I spot a woman a few rows behind me with a little kid and some sort of booster seat. "Wow, that's great!" I tell her. "Where did you get that? Can you rent them here, or did you bring it from home? We totally need one of those!" Instead of being a sympathetic mommy colleague she is disgusted with my total-idiot-taking-my-2-year-old-to-the-movies-virgin-self. "They are right there!" and she points off behind her. "Where?" Ugh. "Right THERE, NEAR THE DOOR!" Huh? What? Where? So after getting up and surfing through the crowd I find no less than 100 of these magic boosters right inside the door waiting to be used and for free. I literally must have tripped over them on the way in. But still, it is so much to ask that veterans not look down at the rest of us? We've all been that mom once.
Now the seat folding on my child problem...solved. And while he's not too happy about sitting, the popcorn is buttery gold, and he's having the time of his life even if he doesn't want to be there.
But then, the movie starts, and the Cracker is immediately in love with Curious George. Infatuated. Total success! He doesn't blink, he doesn't twitch, he doesn't move...at all. J and I get bored and start waving fingers in front of his face. The only sign he's still alive is that he strains his neck to the side because we're obstructing his view of the gigantic screen.
On the way home what does he ask to eat? Nananas. The one fruit he has never really taken to. But hey, if it's good enough for a monkey...