Friday night we headed to the evil mall to find J a new pair of shoes. For work. Believe you me, MUCH harder than it sounds.
Black. We were looking for black. For work.
Everything with laces is a "bowling" shoe.
He wants clogs. Backless ones. For work.
"Ummm...ummm...honey? Your coworkers are uber conservative. They already think you're a big fat hippy."
(The "funny" you made that very morning about making bongs in shop class?* We're lucky the cops haven't showed up at the house searching for drugs. Yet.)
"You want promotions. Let's not rub your perceived hippiness in their faces, k? Do you see anything you like with a back, maybe?"
Wannabe helpful sales guy not helping: "How about these!"
Black Dankso clogs.
Dude, go a-way.
After exhausting all the granola shoe stores AND the department stores we went to the athletic shoe stores. Maybe just a new pair of Nike's in gray? That's pretty much what we're replacing after all. He was just looking for something more professional this time around.
Dude, we had no idea how UNhip hop we were. Where have all the normal running shoes gone???
Finally ended up at REI. He'll be getting these. No one had them in town in black.
We did not however leave the mall empty handed. I just had to wander into Old Navy, and it was there that the Cracker found his Halloween costume all by his little self. AND THERE ARE SOUND EFFECTS.
We are going to be a monkey this year.
Not my first choice, but at least it isn't a cartoon superhero. (I know, I know, that's next year, isn't it? From Walmart, and it's going to fall apart the first time he tries it on. Sigh.) It's okay, but I kinda don't like the fluffy legs. Might have to get a pair of brown tights and fiddle with it. Monkeys don't have big loose skin on their legs.
All his costumes thus far have been ON. Because I am lazy. And I always find the good costumes too late.
So here's last year's, which they have again this year, of course.
See the stupid legs?
So here's what I did...I bought him tights. J made a stink about it, but it was all in good fun and he didn't really care.
Now those are some nice legs!
So what I had liked (and is actually available in his size):
First problem, not warm enough for Halloween night. Because here, in October, it will be warm during the day (too warm for heavyish costumes) but cold at night.
Second problem, what do I tell him he is? His friends are running around as animals, rescue workers and superheroes, and he is...German???
(And you must understand that while my name is Heidi, I am not German. Neither J or I have any German ancestry that we are aware of. The Cracker's names are Scottish, Welsh, British and Irish, depending on who you ask.)
(That is why we don't tan. At least not easily.)
Also kinda cute and different: a pilgrim.
(Did I really just say that?)
And Robin Hood. He looks so good in brown and green, and it has tights already, and a darn cute little hat.
But we are a monkey. And we've been wearing it every day since it came home with us Friday night. He's in love. How can I say no to that?