Overheard: A True Story

J just in from work, Cracker happily playing in the adjoining room.

"So we really need to watch what we're saying around The Parrot. Today he came up with some totally new swear word. Well it wasn't a swear word...what was it? (Trying to remember, trying to remember...) It wasn't horrible, something like "Oh Lordy me!" but I know it wasn't anything that either one of us say. Still it just seems like he's repeating everything these days." Racking my brain. "What was it? Oh it's going to drive me crazy. What was it?"

I'm still saying "What was it? What was it?" when the Cracker wanders in.

"Mommy?"

"Yes?"

"Shit!"


Lovely! My thoughts exactly.


So I'm hoping here that he couldn't read our faces. J and I fell silent and locked gazes as we totally ignored him, but I could see it in J's eyes, and he in mine: pupils all dilated, our looks toward each other screamed "OMG DID HE REALLY JUST SAY THAT? FUCK!!!"

We're still reeling when he takes a toy in his hand and whacks himself in the face. "Fuck!"


AND NOW HE'S READING OUR MINDS?


"Uh.......................J?"

"Bonk. Maybe he said bonk."

"He didn't."

"Yeah, I know, but I'm going to pretend that he did."

Crackers laughs maniacally. "BONK! BONK!" Wanders back to his toys hitting himself in the head repeating "BONK" and laughing each time.

Crrrrap.

I know he understands more than I understand he understands but seriously? Swear word? He knows the meaning of swear word? Our response is always that's not a nice word. Is it Barney's fault? Does Barney call them swear words?

It's times like these where I really wish J had paid attention in Spanish class. At least then if the Cracker still picked up our conversations we could say he's bilingual.

I am in deep doo doo.