Infamous

Her: I swear I know you from somewhere.
Me: Hmmm. I don't know.
Her: I've got it! You were at Costco the other day with your husband and your daughter. She was wearing a long sleeve black dress with white birds?
Me: We were.
Her: Haha! She was laying on the floor in the food court kicking and screaming and you were yelling at your husband "OMG THE FLOOR IS NASTY PICK HER UP!" You guys totally cracked me up!

Yay us.

Revelation

There are two stuffed bunnies. She wants me to hand her one. There is no right answer, but still I choose wrong.

Suddenly she is screaming at me, hysterical, crazed, completely oblivious to everything around her, overly emotional to the point of utter ridiculousness.

And then I get it.

"This," I say to my husband, pointing at our still tantruming daughter, "this is how men see women, isn't it?"

"Yup!"

HOLY SHIT.

Olive Goes Green

All by her little self Olive repurposed crawler tracks into John Deere jewelry. Totally bad ass, doncha think?

Anger Management

"Hey Mom?"

"Yeah buddy?"

"I hope that when Olive grows up she can find a husband who will be willing to pick up all the things that she throws at him."

Sigh. Me too.

Single White Male

Code name: The Cracker
Age: 6.5 years old

Interests and Activities:

• museums
• literature
• transportation
• collecting sticks and other forms of nature
• dressing up/role play
• good guys vs. bad guys
• play fighting
• weaponry
• 6 year old male humor
• all money making schemes
• fundraising prizes!
• party favor junk

Turn-offs:

• bedtime
• being asked to pee before a long car trip

Favorite food?
Pink Lady apples

Favorite animal?
My cat Corie

Favorite books:
Mr. Putter and Tabby (series)
Skippyjon Jones (series)
Chicks and Salsa
Eight Animals Bake a Cake

Aspirations:

• To sell random free shit treasures I find, like leaves, to strangers.
• lose a baby tooth

Anything else?

I am as sweet and loving as I am energetic. I am known for being that kid who is nice to everyone; I will never be mean to you or put you down. For this reason I am always given the role of ambassador to new students. I am loved by the ladies and find myself the only male at many (intimate) birthday bashes, and if I don't stop getting invited to everyone's party my parents will soon go broke. I love life, my family, and especially my little sister. My parents are so proud of the young man I've become.