Callum on Family

callump.
oive
mom
gay

(We interrupted him before he could get to D-a-d.)

Callum on What Kitty Cats Look Like at the Foot of the Bed

R(o)ny G Biv?

"Red...nose...yew-woh...gleen...blue...pupple!"

Also, "Tan I haf nose juice?" and "You oten my nose?"

This has been going on for months now and I hope it never stops.

Another long time favorite we are not in a rush for him to outgrow: "Tan you oten my o-dirt peas?"  It's yogurt, his favorite food.

To Callum on his Fourth

I love you Callum! Have a nice birthday! Ow and try not to be a pain in the butt.

Love,
Ollie

Callum On Growing Up

Callum would like to fly, so when grows up he's going to be a blackbird, living in a tree outside Target. He is not going to eat bugs, just popcorn.

Mother of the Year

Today, in Callum news, this happened:



(My first thought? Look at that. He's doing the right handed thing again.)

It washed off just enough to make it look like a blotchy, unidentifiable rash. Which, super awesome timing, because I called him out sick today because Olive was already home sick, and half day Wednesday schedule means I spend 40 minutes of driving + drop-off/pick-up for 75 minutes of instructional time, which is bullshit when I too am sick.

Then, in 6th grade news, I learned that if arranged with great care one can hide A LOT of homework under a 3'x5' rug and pad before things get lumpy. Well played, G.



I regret I was too wft in the moment to take a picture of his lovely work. I have included a sample page of said undone homework for scale because the ginormous front door throws it off.

Finally, I discovered that Callum had also found time today to give our kitten Mr. Wuffles a bit of a haircut with safety scissors. No picture, sadly, as it was just chunks of length off his left hind quarters and only visible in person. Here is the delightful Mr. Wuffles on a better day:



(His ear was clipped by a rescue to show he'd been fixed before going back outside with his stray mother. NOT CALLUM!)

(We sure know how to look bad though, don't we?)

Teaching Number Three to Ski

We had planned to copy all the other parents and harness him with rope, but the resort had run out of adult rentals. So when his 6 year old sister was done we stuck her far too big equipment on his 3 year old self and low-teched it.



It was awesome! He's obviously terrified, right, with the yelling and waving "Hi!"

Truthfully it is exactly how we (and by that I mean Jason) taught number two Olive to ski, too. Only difference was the pushing was all her idea. While Callum wanted to try skiing, it was pretty obvious it was originally more about the ride up.

(Now if I can just convince Olive to snowboard more. Because she not only rocked it the one time she tried it, but omg adorable. My only hope is that she loves her Sorrels so much she wears them with her sundresses.)

Out of the Mouth and Pen of Olive

All kids say and do things that when taken out of context make for some fun shit. It just seems like Olive says/does more than her fair share. These two are about a week apart.

Olive says...



"Yay it's closed! Now I can go have a drink."


Olive draws...



(Taken from Sandra Boynton's "Opposites")

Olive on Keeping it Real

This morning as we were walking to school Olive told me an extremely detailed account about what had happened the night before when Jason had walked her and the boys to school for a planetarium event. Basically all the boys purposely left the safety of the paved trail, darting into the street, IN THE DARK, for no apparent reason, RISKING THEIR LIVES. The morons!

Weird. We had just walked that route a few hours earlier without incident.

"Actually, that's not what really happened. But if I had been writing a story that's how it would have gone."

How We Roll

I told Jason that our vintage Pyrex needed some vintage Transformers.



Much better!

Callum's Dream

Star Wars + That Bass = Awesome

Heidi on Why Olive's First Grade Teacher was Right About Visiting the Restroom

Olive's First Grade Teacher on Visiting the Restroom

Olive, hanging at the sink to leisurely watch herself in the mirror as she makes and blows bubbles with hand soap after flushing:

"What? A second grader taught me."

Callum on Style

I call this look "Star Wars Threw Up on Me."



Many mornings I still have to talk him into being warm and covering the shirt. "But if you cover your Star Wars tee with a Star Wars hoodie you will have EVEN MORE STAR WARS! Dude, think about it. Count it out!"



Buying guide:
Hoodie via Costco Wholesale, kicks by Vans, t-shirts by Old Navy/Gap/Target/mother-in-law, backpack by Pottery Barn Kids, SW-free sweet baby Jesus miracle pants that survived big brother by Gap

Photo credit:
He was nearly frozen for a whole minute because his bro gave him a mostly dead cricket.

Olive on a Very Big Number

In retrospect I was likely wrong, I was so tired, but I thought I heard Olive repeatedly say Google+ when she meant googolplex. What I do know is that as I began to define Google+ I was immediately interrupted with a "Go look it up, Mom."

That's new.

Olive on Tween G

"Are hormones assholes? Because G is being one."

Touché. And timeout for language.

Chistoso

Completed and signed in English on the reverse, I gave it back to my child to turn in at least a week ago.

Hip Hop Hooray

Naughty By Nature was on right before going into Target. As we made our way through a very long list, Callum serenaded the adults with, "HEY, HO! HEY, HO! HEY, HO! HEY, HO!"

He is so mine.

So You Want to Be a Snowman?

I had started making a Vader costume because we were many months deep into I won't leave the house without Darth on my body.

But no, he had his heart very much set on something else.



I do love a man in tights.

Callum's Evolution of Music

It started with "What Does the Fox Say?" He wore his Ewok fox costume every day for like six months straight until it got too hot and I had to pull rank. Then we took it to chilly California this summer and wore the shit out of it some more.



Next came Katy Perry's "Roar" on a loop from late 2013 through early September 2014. Yes, that was waaaaay too much Katy Perry, even for Olive. It was cold out when Darth Vader and The Imperial March became a parallel obsession, which began the "If I can't wear my fox costume then I must wear Star Wars clothing six days a week" phase. For some unknown reason, there's also some serious Pavolv's Dogs shit going on: any time Callum hears the word "hat" he still busts out singing The Imperial March. NO CLUE.

Now it's "All About That Base."

Question

In the spirit of Halloween and the Tootsie Pop question, how many car lengths can my children get before I notice they are all outfitted with big ass sticks?

The silver minivan is ours, so...two?

Death with Dignity

She has my mom's cancer, and my unwavering support.

I See Four Year Olds

Second year of band, October 2014


Second year of preschool, October 2007


I have a smilier one, but the sax player/ninja's face is blocked by nose picking.

Olive's First Grade Teacher on Visiting the Restroom

"Gentlemen, please remember to keep your hands to yourself. LADIES! Remember: flush-wash-leave! Flush! Wash! LEAVE! No chatting, no hanging out. Do not make me have to send in a search party."

Callum on Cleaning Up

Momma singing: "Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere..."
Callum singing: "No no, no no, no no no no no no no..."

A favorite oldie I keep forgetting to write down, luckily there was yet another encore presentation this weekend.